Love's True Reflection
by goodlittlecatholicschoolgirl
Summary: Hermione has been hit with some rough times. Ron loses all confidence in himself. Will their love for each other ever be seen amongst all the evil?
1. Shards and Stones may cut my bones

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This contains mature language, some violent scenes, and other stuff. This is my first proper-length fic, with immense help from a friend.

Disclaimer: I don't own these people. J. K. Rowling does.

It takes place in 5th year, in the winter.

* * *

Hermione ran back to her room, leaving a bruised Draco to fend for himself.  
  
_Malfoy's a bloody prat. I'm beautiful. I'm not ugly...no...of course not..._

She wearily stepped into the Gryffindor girls' bathroom, wiping her tears and his blood off with her hand.

"Damn him!" She looked up into the mirror, her hair frizzed, her cheeks puffed up. "I'm beautiful...I am...I am..." she whispered fruitlessly to herself.

_No wonder he doesn't love me...not when I look like this._Hermione lowered her brown eyes, and then clenched her fists in rage. "This isn't fair!" she cried, the mirror shattering, causing hundreds of pieces to graze her skin. The door slammed after her; her bed groaned under her weight as she collapsed upon it.

_Why do girls have to be gorgeous, sex-driven models to get someone to notice them? I mean, I'm smart and useful and witty and...oh God..._ she trailed off, noticing the blood on her arms from the broken shards. _No...I don't need any more help looking absolutely hideous._

..The next day..

"Hey, Harry, have you realized Herm hasn't been herself lately?" Ron asked nervously.

"Yeah, I wonder what's up..." Harry replied.

Hermione sulked into class; her head bent low, her arms covered by her robes. As she took her seat, she gave a weak good morning smile towards Harry. But she couldn't bring herself to even look at Ron.

_ He doesn't need to see this horrid beast of a girl,_ she thought.

Ron sat, disappointed. _Is she mad at me? Does she know? Did anyone tell her?_

The rest of class Hermione spent with her face buried behind a book. Hermione's eyelids were heavy...it was quite warm in the classroom... She quivered from his touch as she ran her hands through his flaming red hair, their lips meeting in the darkness.

............  
  
_"Oh, Ron!" she moaned.  
  
He caressed his hands along her smooth curves, making a chill go down her spine. She wrapped her arms around him, drawing him closer to her.  
  
"Don't ever leave me!"  
  
"I could never." He kissed her softly, "You know I love you more than anything..."  
  
She trailed a hand down his chest with a smile, giving him a quick kiss. "I love you, too." He grazed her neck tenderly, her heart raced faster.  
  
The lights flickered on, revealing a room with mirrored walls. He gasped and backed away from her.  
  
"What...what's wrong? Where are you going?" she asked, panicking. He didn't utter another word to her, but broke out in a run, getting as far away from her as possible. "Oh God!" she cried as she turned around, staring at herself in the mirrors. Her hair was graying and brittle, her complexion scarred. Her eyes were bloodshot, her arms bleeding..._

........

_   
  
_"NO!" she howled.  
  
"Something wrong, Ms. Granger?" Professor Flitwick asked, in shock, furrowing his brow.  
  
"Oh...er...n-nothing professor," she tried to avoid the thirty pairs of eyes staring at her. "I...I don't know what came over me..."  
  
"Alright, may I continue?" he questioned.  
  
"Yes, of course, sorry, professor," Hermione muttered softly.  
  
"You've got to be shitting me," she whispered to no one. Hermione rolled up one of her sleeves, feeling a warm, familiar substance drip down. The wounds had reopened; the pain was nearly unbearable. A small droplet traced down her cheek, and she brushed it away with the back of her hand. She looked down, realizing it wasn't a tear, but a speck of blood. Not more! Then bell rang, completing the last class of the day.  
  
She sped out of the classroom, dashing towards the nearest washroom. She clocked herself, attempting to hide her body, her blood dotting the floor, leaving a gruesome trail. She held her head low, crimson tears streaming down her face, but she was nearly there. Hermione spotted the door, At last, relief, she thought as she sharply turned the corner and-  
  
BAM!-she was knocked to the ground, her face and arms exposed."Oh look, it's the mudblood," a familiar voice mocked; her ears ringing with hate. Draco looked down at her...quite literally, in fact. "Hey Crabbe, get a peek at the true mudblood! Is little smart-ass gonna cry? Aw, is the widdle know-it-all gonna run to her fellow Gryffin-whores? What a sad, pathetic excuse for a wit-""FUCK OFF!" Hermione flared, sending the blonde into a wall.She stomped over to him, forgetting her pain. A crowd had gathered around the fight scene. Ron had witnessed the whole event; he had wanted to talk to her, he just wanted to hold her. But now he had a bird's eye view, next to Draco. She seethed at him, pointing her wand to his throat. Someone in the swarm egged her on. It was like being hit with ice water, the pain rushed back into her veins; she could barely breathe. Her eyes shot up...directly at Ron. He seemed shocked, appalled. At** her**. Her heart sunk lower, her face a deadly pale.Hermione turned away, nonchalant, facing the crowd. Faking a smile, she simply walked away. Which was anything but simple. She strode, pretending the blood stains weren't seeping through her clothes. She marched on, pretending the pain wasn't pulsating through her body. She walked, pretending Ron wasn't ashamed of her. The scene had blocked her path to the washroom. She felt faint, the room spinning hazily. The crowd thinned, but Ron remained, frozen Why had she glared at him like that?

"Wow, that was wild," remarked Harry. "She looked pretty pissed."

"Yeah," Ron added, absentmindedly.

"You still gonna ask her out for that thing on Saturday?"

Ron sighed, his ears turning pink. "No...I mean, I guess not. And even if she did say yes, it would be out of pity. Besides...she's got more important things to do. I've got...well...nothing."

"Come off it, Ron. You're a great chap," Harry reassured.

Ron could only utter a mumble, "Whatever."

* * *

A/N: Much more controversy to come. Any questions, comments, critiques, reviews are openly welcomed and accepted! 


	2. But Your Words Will Always Save Me

A/N: This is the sort of bloody part, so if you have a problem, I'm sorry. But this is why it's rated PG-13.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, J.K. Rowling does.

* * *

Hermione managed to stumble into the nearest girls' bathroom. She lay on the floor, crying. Minutes, hours, she had no idea how long she mourned in self-pity. Eventually, she got up, every cut throbbing. She took off her bloodstained robe and gasped. Her shirt and vest were caked in her sorrow made liquid. The skin of her arms, face and neck were tainted an eerie bright red.

She tore off her vest, wincing each time she moved. Her shirt at first glance appeared as a normal, red-dye button down top. On closer inspect, there were only a few untouched spots, just as her happiness only speckled her dark life. She cried out in frustration, ripping the sopping cloth off her body.

"I'm **not **a freak, I'm alive...I'm beautiful, I can be loved, I'm sane...I'm alive," she kept trying to convince herself to no avail. "Yet, I'm better off dead."

Hermione crawled over to the shower, disrobing on her way. As the warm water washed over her body, she watched, the floor becoming a deep scarlet. The water intermingled with her tears splashed down, drowning her cries, her curses on the world and everyone in it. But Ron. The water muffled her love songs. Her only witness was the loneliness that she knew so well.

She covered her body with a towel, studying herself in the mirror. Her cleansed skin was milk white, now. Her hair was matted, dripping. Various scratches and scars were scattered on her arms and face. After searching the cabinets, she wrapped her arms with gauze.

"_No more bleeding...please. Just no more_," she thought, pleading to no one.

"I can't wear these anymore," she sighed, a new glitter in her eyes, as she shoved the clothes in a garbage can. "Goodbye, cloth, you're just not perfect enough for this world," she deliriously cackled, muttering a spell. The can sparked, and the contents were engulfed in scarlet flames.

"Ugly, unwanted things never survive..."  
  
...Five Days Later....

_"Hermione, you're absolutely lovely," he grinned._

_ "Aw, Ron. You're so sweet," she blushed, giving him a quick kiss. _

_ He smiled, staring into her sparkling brown eyes. He kissed her on the cheek, on the neck, and again on her soft lips. Their love was enforced with every embrace. _

_"I'm glad you're feeling better, but what was wrong last week?" he questioned, light-hearted. _

_ She glared back at him, and muttered coldly, "Fuck. Off." _

_He flew back, hitting a stone wall..._

_ ......._

__   
  
Ron awoke with a start, his heart pounding. He rubbed the back of his head where he purposively hit the granite.

"What the-"he whispered, glancing at the clock. "3 a.m. on a Friday...great."

He closed his eyes, but only saw her, glowering at him.

"I am such a dumb ass." He sighed, getting up quietly from his bed.

After "borrowing" Harry's invisibility cloak and taking a quick trip to the kitchens, Ron broke down on the couch in the common room. He drowned his troubles with a smuggled bottle of Butterrum.

"No wonder she hates me, I can't do anything, and I'm nothing to her, GOD DAMNIT!" He cursed at himself, throwing the glass in the fire, causing a shattering boom. He shook his head, lost. Someone quietly treaded down the staircase.

"Ron, are you alright?" Harry asked.

"No. No I'm not. Be a good friend and kill me?" Ron said, defeated.

Harry sat down next to him, "Now will you tell me what's going on?"

"I'm nothing, Harry. I'll always be second best."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Is that all? Yeah right, Ron. You've got you're whole life ahead of-"

"A life of **nothing!** I'm never going to be anything, you understand? I'm nothing...especially to her!"

"What are you _talking_ about?!"

"HER! It's always about her. Harry, I'm in love with someone I can't have. She's perfect, I mean," Ron's face was red, his ears a bright pink. "She's gonna be something in life. I'm not Viktor, not strong, successful, or attractive. I'm not much of anything."

He opened another Butterrum bottle, taking a long slug. "Why try?"

"Ron, you should just tell her."

"You're right," he sighed. "I'll be upstairs in a minute..."

....The next day...   
  
Ron didn't show up for classes that day.

"Hey, Harry," Hermione greeted, her voice deflated.

"Good morning, 'Mione. What's up?"

"N-nothing," she stuttered. She hadn't slept for days. She cried endlessly. She had more cuts and bruises. "I'm fine."

A pause.

They both opened their mouths to talk, but she let him go first.

"You need to talk to Ron."

Another awkward pause.

"I know."   
  
She swallowed, her mind going off on a tangent, _"He's going to ask why I'm like this. He suspects something; I know it. And now he's got the nerve to confront me. I'm fine, what am I going to tell him? And if I do...he'll never want to see me again. If only I could be so lucky to never see myself again, but I don't have that luxury..."  
_  
....Six Hours Later in the Gryffindor Common Room...

"Ron, what happened to you?" Harry asked, flabbergasted.

"No-hic-nottin'." Ron drawled.

He hadn't showered, or moved from that spot for that matter, since Harry had talked to him that morning.

"Come on, get up," said Harry, as he began casting some scouring spells to clean up the mess.

"You know hic, I think..." Ron nodded off, a bottle in his hand.

Harry rolled his eyes, sighing, "Impugnify!"

Ron sobered up, shaking his head. "What am I doing?"

"I don't even know anymore, Ron."

..........Hermione shut herself in the bathroom, in an unfathomable state of depression. She felt like dementors constantly followed her, ice running through her veins.

"I've had enough of this life. Ugly, unwanted things never survive."

She took a deep breath and looked at herself in the mirror.

"I don't need intelligence to tell me I am just a waste of time."

She studied her pale hand carefully, and then **CRASH**, her nearly healed wrist was now half way through the tortuous glass. She didn't care about the pain anymore as the glass shattered in every direction.

"I've never been so alive, so sane...so alive."

Hermione took the biggest shard and sliced off her clothes.

"No need for extras...no, not anymore."

Her shirt was left in pieces. Each cut was beauty; it reached skin deep. Silent tears flowed constantly.

"This is it."

Her vest lay in tatters, her sleeves; just bits of cloth scattered on the floor. Every swing of the makeshift blade drew a crimson reward. The loss of blood made her weak, the wall supporting her. She picked up another piece of her broken life, and slid down to the floor.

She looked down at her wrist, the one not yet tainted with cuts and tears. Her other hand was poised to strike.

.........

Ron pushed himself off the couch, still feeling dizzy from the hangover.

_ "I better wash up",_ he thought, not believing he let himself skip classes again.

He walked over to the boys' washroom, but stepped on something sharp.

"Ow, what the bloody hell?" he cursed, looking down.

He noticed bits of broken glass, coming from the girls' room. He stopped, bending low, his ear to the door. He heard a faint sobbing, someone in pain. He opened the door softly, asking the unknown person, "Are you alright? Do you need help?" But then, he looked down and saw her.

Ron quickly got down on his hands and knees, not knowing where to start.

"Hermione, what happened, can you hear me?"

"I'm leaving, f-for good. I'm sorry I wasn't pretty enough for this world...for you." Her head drooped, lifelessly.

"Oh God," he whispered, "no you can't be..."

He hurriedly took off his robe, wrapping it around her.

"You're gonna be all right, I promise," he murmured, praying. _God, let her be alright..._

* * *

A/N: We've still got more to go! Hope you enjoyed it, and with any luck I'll be getting the next chapter uploaded soon! As always, please r&r! 


	3. And We All Fall Down

A/N: The final installment in the LTR series! I'm glad you've stuck through all this; I hope it appeases you.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, J.K. Rowling does.

* * *

Hermione awoke, seeing nothing but white. 

_"No, I can't be dead, I don't want to die, I changed my mind!" _her thoughts raced, as she moved around uneasily. She eventually realized she was staring into her pillow, and sat up.

"Oh," She said, looking around. "Wh-where am I? What's going on?"

"Poor dear, you're in the Hospital Wing! You received a nasty few cuts from a haunted mirror. I swear, Peeves is behind this somehow," Madame Pomfrey trailed off, a scowl on her face. "One of these days, he's going to seriously hurt someone! Now, take these." She handed Hermione a thick orange potion with some numerous pills.

"You're very lucky though, a nice boy brought you here, one of the Weasleys, I daresay. He was terribly worried and kept trying to stay but it was past visiting hours. That reminds me, he left you this," Madame Pomfrey gave her a small, folded-up bit of parchment. "Drink up your potion, dear."

Hermione was shaking, but she opened the letter, tears in her eyes.

_Hermione,_

_ You're beautiful. I can't begin to tell you how lovely you really are. You are the smartest, most wonderful person I've ever known. You're nothing less than an angel. I can't believe the world almost lost its most astounding creature. _

_ If ever again you doubt this life, that you aren't wanted, take comfort in knowing that I do. I love you. And last night I was so scared that I was going to lose you forever. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, all the fights we've had. I didn't mean for it to ever hurt you. Please forgive me, for never saying this before.  
Love,  
Ron_

__  
  
She looked over the note several times. Then, she folded it back up, and placed it close to her heart. Through her tears, she smiled for the first time in a long while. ...The Next Day... Madame Pomfrey roused Hermione to wake up, and gave her another dosage of the medication.  
  
"You're free to go whenever you wish, dear," she said with a smile.  
  
"Madame Pomfrey," Hermione asked, ashamed, "about what happened, I think I need help."  
  
"Don't be silly, that mirror was taken care of. It was actually under a spell of some sorts, from years ago. It was just never cleaned properly, I suppose," she explained.  
  
"Oh, well, thank you anyway," replied Hermione shakily. _"I can get over this myself, I'm independent, I don't need anyone's help,"_ she thought.  
  
She took her potion and pills, and was off into the halls of Hogwarts once more.  
  
.......  
  
Hermione climbed the many staircases, her mind racing.  
  
_"I have no need to do...that...again, I'm fine, I'm perfectly fine."  
_  
She finally reached the Fat Lady's Portrait.  
  
"Ah, there you are, sweetie, password?" asked the painting.  
  
_"Ferra Ama,"_ she whispered.  
  
She quietly walked into the common room, her arms neatly covered with bandages. She scanned the room, but there was no sign of Ron.  
  
Harry spotted her first, and immediately gave her a hug, taking pains not to hurt her any further.  
  
"You're alright! Guys, she's okay!" she shouted gleefully.  
  
Her fellow Gryffindors swarmed around her, welcoming her back.  
  
"How's your arm?"  
  
"Did the mirror bite? Or did it turn into a snake, that's what Colin said!"  
  
"Can I sign your cast?"  
  
"Wow, how'd you break the spell?"  
  
She laughed hollowly, going along with this possessed mirror tale.  
  
_"I wish it was only a tale...but no one will know."_  
  
After the crowd seemed satiated with her answers and her bandages could hold no more signatures, they let her be.  
  
"Goodnight, Harry," Hermione tiredly said.  
  
"G'night," he replied, "sleep well."  
  
She walked up the staircase, alone, and headed towards the left.  
  
........  
  
Ron sat on his bed, staring at the floor. A single lamp lit up the boys' dormitory. There was a light knocking on the door.  
  
"Come in," he called, his voice empty and dreary. He hadn't slept properly since he saw her; her hands were shaking.  
  
"Ron, is that you?" asked a small, humble girl.  
  
She walked in, closing the door behind her.  
  
"Hermione! Oh thank God you're alive," he said, immediately going up to her. The life flowed back into him, his face lit up with a smile.  
  
She leaned in and brushed her lips against his.  
  
"No...thank _you."_  
  
Ron stood, dumfounded.  
  
"I love you, too," she whispered.  
  
She kissed him again tenderly. Ron eagerly kissed her back, his tongue asking for entry. She let him, and it was heaven in his arms. She moaned softly in his mouth as he brushed up against her, her back to the door. She wrapped her arms around him, bringing him closer to her. He broke for air, and then began caressing her neck with his lips. She shuddered under him, whimpering to go on.  
  
He pressed his hips harder into her. She gasped and held onto him tighter. His lips greeted hers once more, each embrace an unwritten love song. They moved together so gracefully, their hearts pounding. She was dying for his touch as she began to discover her new lover's body.  
  
Seamus flung open the door, "God, am I tired!"  
  
"Ow!" Ron and Hermione cried.  
  
"Watch what you're doing, Finnigan!" Ron yelled, rather angry that he was disrupted.  
  
"Oh, sorry 'bout that, mate,"  
  
Seamus, Dean, Neville, and Harry piled into the room, continuing their discussion on which Quidditch player was the sexiest. 

"No, Neville. For the last time, we're not counting Brian Bell!" Harry laughed.  
  
Hermione ran a nervous hand through her hair, blushing, "I better go."  
  
"Yeah," Ron sadly admitted. "Goodnight, love you," he smiled, holding onto her hand.  
  
"G'night, love you, too," she grinned, giving him one last kiss, and then she disappeared into the hall.  
  
...Later that Night...  
  
Hermione climbed into her bed, a satisfied smile on her face. She lay down, staring at the dark ceiling. In the weak light of her wand, she read over his note. As she finished, her heart fluttered in her chest, and she couldn't be happier. She tucked the note away in her drawer, and laid back.  
  
_"This amazing emotion,"_ Hermione thought,_" God, this feeling called love...it's to **die** for."_  
  
**FIN.**

* * *

A/N: Well, that's it! Hope the ending isn't too cheesy for you. Please r&r! 


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